GOD'S WIFE

The Story of a Sex Worker

June 30, 2004

Mechanics and Lube Jobs

I never became a junky. Nothing violent inspired me to get involved in porn. I just had the gun of boredom and poverty to my head.

Almost overnight, I was a new animal. You do just one fuck film and you're never the same person again. Now that I was starting something of a new career I was filled with a rush of new emotion. I wouldn't call it worry because I liked the change. I wasn't one of those girls who got into the industry because they looked for abuse, or they just weren't very smart. I wasn't one of those girls whose only asset was her body and fell into porn in a sad, inevitable way. One of those girls who always did what men told them because if they weren't pleasing themselves, they may as well be pleasing somebody. Girls who had to believe they were the prettiest within miles because they had to believe in something. I had a fine self-esteem. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life. And I knew that I wanted to be treated decently. I'd received more abuse from customers at a restaurant than from the people inside Bernard's house in the hills. I had learned nothing from waiting tables except how to balance four plates on one arm. So I was glad to finally be doing something without the dull work ethic of wake-up, drive, bore yourself dead, drive home and sleep.

There was some sacrifice. In order to have so much sex with so little love, a person had to shut off their emotions. We were like machines. The future was now because we were robots. Men who took apart engine blocks, drove tractor pulls, ran factory lines, men who worked with machines before had become machines themselves. The women too. There was a machinelike quality to stuffing a thousand envelopes an hour like I was doing at the temp jobs. I didn't put that much more feeling into my work now. Sex was difficult to perform if you didn't always mean it. You had to sell your soul for the few minutes to few hours you were on the sheets. Now, that's not saying machines couldn't have a good time. That glint in my eye and my moaning weren't only there because I was acting for the camera. Sex was one of the best, if not the best, feelings on Planet Earth and I wasn't going to deny myself that pleasure. The machine came into use because having sex many days a week with different men wasn't so easy. I had to shut off a little and maybe look at it all with blurry eyes. Sometimes the act wasn't as intimate as masturbation. I mean, if I was giving my fifth blow-job of the day and it was eleven o'clock at night, I went at it with a businesslike dedication. I was exhausted but I was getting paid. It was my job. Just another cock coming down the factory line.

14 Comments:

  • At 10:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Very great.

     
  • At 10:30 AM, Blogger Lady Charisse said…

    "Just another cock coming down the factory line."

    How many times do you read something like that???

    Love the reading girl, keep it up!

     
  • At 3:58 PM, Blogger John Psmyth said…

    Hope "I was never" doesn't turn out to be irony, for the sake of your heroine.

     
  • At 4:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You're a decent enough writer, but with a few tweaks this could be a much better fictional work.

    Your main character is inconsistent sometimes and having so many quotes from what's supposed to be two years in the past is a bit of a stretch.

    Keep it up though.

     
  • At 6:31 PM, Blogger sinsulita said…

    Keep it coming...

     
  • At 8:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Don't know what "4:38" is talking about-quotes, what quotes? As a writer, I am floored by the emotional power and simplicity of your words. If any one has ever seen a porn film, the connection is immediate, the sad truth, pronounced... your allusions like mercury.

    Please continue... without trying to meet your critics expectations - if ever you edit this, do it when you are done.

     
  • At 8:46 AM, Blogger Lady Charisse said…

    I agree with anonymous (8:39)...Don't listen to anynegative comments...And I dont' think any of us really care if it's fiction or fact, so just keep the good reads comin'!!

     
  • At 11:19 AM, Blogger jp said…

    Porn is good.

     
  • At 3:35 PM, Blogger Reza said…

    My first time and I already believe in you about the things you described yourself. Very intelligent writing.

     
  • At 4:10 AM, Blogger Stuyvesant Parker said…

    I was almost fooled by this. This is no diary of a pornstar, past or present, but it's an interesting read from a fictional perspective.

    Too bad it's not real, just too bad.

     
  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger John Psmyth said…

    Brad -- How do you know?

    Kind of like Alice in Wonderland, isn't it? "I am real!"

     
  • At 12:59 PM, Blogger agsharma said…

    You have no idea how incredibly refreshing it is to finally hear a sane, strong opinion from someone in the porn industry. The one-sided opinion I have heard over the years from the press, parents, friends etc had started to sound a bit hollow especially when one did not know hear anything (sane or insane) from the porn industry.

    I came across this site quite by accident and have enjoyed reading your posts thoroughly. I commend you on your writing and hope that one day you will turn to it full time. Best of luck!!

     
  • At 12:18 AM, Blogger TS said…

    Nice Blog!!!   I thought I'd tell you about a site that will let give you places where
    you can make extra cash! I made over $800 last month. Not bad for not doing much. Just put in your
    zip code and up will pop up a list of places that are available. I live in a small area and found quite
    a few. MAKE MONEY NOW

     
  • At 12:19 AM, Blogger TS said…

    Nice Blog!!!   I thought I'd tell you about a site that will let give you places where
    you can make extra cash! I made over $800 last month. Not bad for not doing much. Just put in your
    zip code and up will pop up a list of places that are available. I live in a small area and found quite
    a few. MAKE MONEY NOW

     

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