GOD'S WIFE

The Story of a Sex Worker

June 21, 2004

On to NYC

Right after high school I moved to New York and stayed with a classmate in Manhattan. Her name was Neesha, an Eskimo name. She worked for an escort service while I sat at home watching TV and eating white bread and butter, unmotivated. One day Neesha said to me that she was branching away from the escort service and wanted to do something on her own. "I met this guy named Jake," she said. "He's real trustworthy. And he's white. That's rare for a pimp here." She was half-Puerto Rican and half-Korean and didn't know who she trusted. "So we're going to start a business and I think you should come along. I mean, you're pretty Shirl, you should use it. And I'm sick of looking at you watching TV everyday."

I resisted at first. It was OK to fuck fifteen and sixteen-year-olds, although that could hurt the brain and the soul, but getting paid for it seemed too dirty. And in addition, doing it in New York seemed dangerous. Part of the reason I stayed indoors was because almost as soon as I moved to the city I found that I was terrified of it. The whole city seemed like one dark, forbidding alleyway. I told Neesha I wasn't interested. She persisted. "Jake already has a clientele," she said. "They're all clean. I met a couple of them. One was real good looking. I'd fuck him anyway. You don't have to be scared."

"I'm not scared," I said.

"Sure you are."

"No, I'm not."

"You're not doing anything else with your fucking life. You just sit there like a cockroach."

I didn't like her insults and, to be honest, I was getting sick of watching talk shows and sit-com reruns. So I got a job briefly as a New York whore working for Neesha's friend Jake. He was a questionable man. He had red hair and bright red freckles which made him look fiery as the devil. He also had a devil's temper. In one instant he would be calmly doing business and the next he would explode. His little boy temper and his big-boy arms would start pounding on things- tabletops, brick walls, and people. He never hit me. I knew when to get out of his way. He hit Neesha more than once, never in the face, only in the arms and back, places that wouldn't show.

I had that job three months before I realized I had to get out of there. The job itself was OK. I hadn't yet learned certain kinds of regret. It was easy enough to fuck different guys if you just shut off your mind, I mean really shut it off, watching it all like a visitor. The pay made up for any heartache. What got me down most was the city. Our apartment was filled with roaches, little babies and waterbugs which seemed almost like a small animal. The thought of those bugs made me itchy all over all the time. It had been an exceptionally rainy summer and when I went out on the dark, damp streets I sometimes saw the heads of cockroaches on people. Whole hoards of city traffic had huge bug eyes and antennae. There seemed to be a heavy cockroach vibe over the concrete city of New York. Maybe I was just going a little crazy.

I thought about L.A. because I thought I might be an L.A. person. Even though both my parents had brown hair, my hair was natural blonde. I liked the beach even though I didn't tan very well. I burned. When I thought about L.A., I thought about the sun and the beach and open space, everything New York was not. Also, I had some vague ideas about acting. I had been in one play in high school and liked the feel of it. It seemed like an impossible dream in New York, so cold and ruthless in the way it conducted business. In L.A., at least, I could start with commercials. It could give me the space and air I needed to think my life through.

I told Jake and Neesha I was leaving. Jake got red in the face and was about to throw a baby fit, but I said, "Save it," and walked out the door. I took a cab home, packed a small bag and went to the airport. I bought a plane ticket and eventually put a down payment on an apartment with the fair amount of money I'd saved from hooking.

23 Comments:

  • At 8:52 PM, Blogger BuddytheRat said…

    You should try to earn some money with your writing abilities. :)

     
  • At 2:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    :shens:

     
  • At 2:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    pics or shens

     
  • At 3:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    double shens

     
  • At 8:46 AM, Blogger jp said…

    I think anonymous was a little inebrieated last night. WTF is a shens????

     
  • At 11:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Muwhaahah shens ++

     
  • At 1:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Maklar

     
  • At 8:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    doo yuo hav a sexy cunt? i wanna rubbit like a demon.

     
  • At 10:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 3:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 3:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think that jp needs to get off of my internet.

    Oh yes, and :shens:

     
  • At 12:27 PM, Blogger Ajay said…

    not sure what that means but
    :shens:

    nice setup.

     
  • At 2:13 PM, Blogger jp said…

    " think that jp needs to get off of my internet."

    Ah, the anonymous person is Al Gore. Thanks for playing. :)

     
  • At 5:52 PM, Blogger sinsulita said…

    In all seriousness, I am thoroughly enjoying your writings. Also, thanks for the link!

     
  • At 7:08 PM, Blogger Inanna said…

    The image of cockroach heads on people was horrible but what could be more real? Great writing.

     
  • At 7:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Give up pr0n and write. No need to ruin the rest of your life over money.

     
  • At 10:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Great writing! Assuming that you are in fact in porn, would should realy consider getting out, get all the bad shit that has happened to you worked out, and pursue a career as a writer/journalist or something. Why is it that everybody in porn have been fucked by their dads? That's soo depressing. Makes me feel bad for wachting porn..

    affekex123@hotmail.com

     
  • At 10:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Great writing! Assuming that you are in fact in porn, would should realy consider getting out, get all the bad shit that has happened to you worked out, and pursue a career as a writer/journalist or something. Why is it that everybody in porn have been fucked by their dads? That's soo depressing. Makes me feel bad for wachting porn..

    affekex123@hotmail.com

     
  • At 11:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    That blog is so fake ... just look for the producers name and her name on google ... its all fiction :)

    But honestly I work in porn, and I find your blog kinda funny and read it :)

    You make sence but your facts dont ;)

     
  • At 11:45 PM, Blogger Vadergrrrl said…

    15 and 16 year old... Sounds fun... LOL
    -You are one heck of a writer. Keep it comming, we love reading it.
    Its great to find a sexually liberated, creative and deep thinking chick like you.

     
  • At 2:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    About "Shirley Shave" being fiction because the names used are not real: If YOU worked in porn you'd better NOT post stuff on the net about your "collegues". If any of you followed Sam and this gang at JewishCheerleaders.com you know how nasty it can get... ..porn-people are NOT cool with it.

     
  • At 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It shows that you never attended college after high school with your lackadaisical writing style. I suggest sticking to fucking men on tape and not listening to these idiots cheering you on to become a writer.

     
  • At 9:15 AM, Blogger Lady Charisse said…

    Wow...everyone's turning on you....

    Don't listen. You write real well. I enjoy reading your stuff and that's all that matters. Keep up the great work.

     

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