The Story of a Sex Worker

September 22, 2004


We couldn't film at Bernard's house because it had been used too much lately. The interior had just been used for a throwaway movie called "Hot Diamonds." The script called for some exteriors and interiors of a mansion. Bernard had the nicest house of anybody I knew, probably the nicest house I'd ever been inside. We could have used his house but Bernard said he wanted this movie to be something special. For this, he went straight to the top.

He found a house in the Malibu hills belonging to a man named Al Harvey, short for Alexis. Al Harvey handled the finances for five different porn houses. He was Bernard's boss, he wrote Bernard's paycheck. There was a quiet rumor that the employers were connected to the Mafia. Nobody talked about it because we were left alone. They were happy if we did our fucking and we were happy if we got paid so the subject was rarely mentioned. In my whole time working in the industry, I never heard if the mob was Bernard's boss but I wouldn't doubt it. Bernard said Al had been in prison for three years for laundering money through porn videos. The only reason there was any doubt that he was a Mafia accountant was because cops liked to arrest anybody involved in porn. Sometimes evidence was planted.

So the filming of my first starring role was going to take place at the Malibu home of a powerful ex-con. We drove along the water in Bernard's Cherokee. Ram Baker was at the wheel. Everybody was looking over the screenplay, professionally bound between two red covers.

Bernard had assembled a cast of seven for today's filming--Ram Baker, the sexy, nervous guy named Harry Fidelman, a new girl named Stacey who was a California girl to the core, athletic with bright blond hair and healthy skin, Betty Able, a skinny black actress, a newcomer named Troy Stone, and myself. Troy Stone was beautiful and young. His skin was an unflawed color of dark and musty gold. He lay innocently sleeping in the back of the Cherokee. I was most happy about working with Betty Able because she had already starred in movies of her own and done her own box covers. I was proud to have her in a supporting role in my movie. Stacey was trying to be professional and was highlighting her lines.

"I want you all to try your best," Bernard said. "I want to try for another best director award for this movie. Make believe that we're not making just another fuck film. Call it art."

Ram Baker was going to play my husband. Harry was going to play my husband's best friend and my lover. Stacey was our maid. Troy Stone was playing the kid I seduce. Betty was playing the kid's mother who I sleep with in the end and make it all better. Tomorrow we were going to film scenes with John Johnson who was playing the lawyer for the other side.

We drove up the narrow Malibu canyon and made our way to Al Harvey's house. We parked on a steep hill. The house was low to the ground and spread out further than one could see along the side of the Malibu mountain. Bernard rang the doorbell which chimed six times.

Al Harvey greeted us at the door wearing a silken, maroon robe.

"The help have arrived," he said, smiling, and winked at me.

He brought us into the living room. Like Bernard's house in the Hollywood hills, the living room looked over a ridge. Al Harvey's house looked over the wide, blue ocean and the coastal highway in the far distance. The house was far nicer than Bernard's place in the hills. Bernard wasn't taking it well. He walked around the living room and stared at the small African wooden statues, shelves made from solid oak, a fireplace big enough to fit four men, lights built into the smooth white ceiling, and glass cubes separating rooms instead of walls. Bernard tried hard not to show his envy. Ram Baker didn't care about hiding anything and said, "This is what I want." He ran his fingers over a zebra-skin couch sitting next to a zebra-skin chair which appeared to be made out of real zebra skin. "This is the kind of house I dreamed about as a young fuck."

"Money can make you happy," Al said, beaming.

The house was great and beautiful, but its owner, Al Harvey, was not. He was completely bald except for some thin, dark hair on the sides. The baldness didn't make him look masculine like it did on some men, it made him look like a victim. He was pockmarked severely on his cheeks which reached all the way behind his ears. And he had a scar which ran from under his nose to his upper lip, stopped at the mouth, and then went down underneath his chin. The scar seemed to separate his face into two strange halves, maybe one side good, one side evil. Looking at him, I imagined the evil side showed itself more often from the way his eyes seemed to sweat when he looked at me.

"You can have the run of the house," he said. "Use any room you want except for my bedroom. Use this room if you like."

"We wouldn't want to fuck up any of the furniture," Bernard said.

"Don't worry about it. You said you wanted a mansion, so here's your mansion. Do it right. I think it's important to do a good job for this beautiful Shirley Shave."

He smiled at me and the scar above his lip seemed to grow.

"Thanks," I said to the floor.

I must have been frowning because he said, "Cheer up, Shirley. I think you're one of the best actresses to hit this industry in a long time."

There was a long pause while he grinned and rubbed his chest inside his robe and everyone was motionless and watching him. Bernard finally said, sad-voiced, "We better get to work."

I think Al made Bernard nervous. Making Bernard uncomfortable was like making a lion afraid, so Al must have had some heavy wealth and power.

"Fine, you get to work," Al said. "I'm going to go lie on the porch."

"You can watch if you want," Bernard said.

"No. I want to get some sun while it's out. I'll watch later."

Al walked through two sliding glass doors to the porch. He stood by a lawn chair and took off his robe. He undressed slowly, as if aware that we were all watching him. Robeless, he was revealed to be whiter than paper with two sharp pecks almost like breasts. He was wearing paisley bikini briefs with only strings to hold it up on the sides. He was shiny, almost greasy, in the sunlight, bearded at the small of his back. He stretched smiling to the sky and then lay down. Everyone seemed to be watching him with a strange and fearful awe.

Bernard came over to me. He said, under his breath, "That's one of the luckiest and one of the ugliest men I know." He continued to stare and then snapped out of it. "Let's get started," he said.

Harry went to get the video cameras and lights out of the car. He was going to be assistant director for the shoot. He was in training to become a director himself.

"Let's do the seduction scene in here," Bernard said. "The script calls for a living room. Most things in here seem to be made from something dead." He pointed to the zebra-skin couch. Al looked over from outside and I wondered if he had heard Bernard. "Well, why the fuck not. Let's use the zebra couch." He shook his head, staring at the black and white stripes. "You know, it's perfect. It has a tribal feel to it. The race angle I was looking for. She's the rich woman who's bought an expensive couch from Africa, the kid's original culture, and she seduces him right on the couch, bridging the gap between the two of them."

I thought it was bullshit but Bernard was happy. I went to the couch and took off my shoes. I took off my clothes and put on a black evening gown, low cut in the front and back, which Bernard had bought second-hand for the scene.

The camera was set up pointing at the couch. "The lighting's pretty good in here as it is," Bernard said. He pushed a button on the wall which moved the lights in the ceiling toward the couch.

"Shirley, Troy's gonna ring the doorbell and you answer it. I'll follow behind you. Bring him into the living room. Make him sit down, maybe pressure him a little, push him. Yeah, push him down and then start unbuttoning. Troy, I don't want you to look nervous or like you're afraid of her. Then it will look like rape and she'll come off looking like a cunt. If you're willing, she'll look sympathetic."

"All right," Troy said.

Troy didn't understand a thing that Bernard was talking about. He was smooth and pretty but he wasn't very bright.

Bernard scratched the back of his head and stared at the camera, shifting from foot to foot. On the set, Bernard turned into a kid playing with toys and candy, energetic like it was Christmas Day. "All right," he said. "Let's begin. Troy, you go outside and ring the doorbell after I say action."

Troy went outside and immediately rang the doorbell.

"After I say action," Bernard yelled.

A faint, "Sorry," came from the other side of the door.

"Shirley, I want you to-"

"I know what to do," I said.


Bernard held the clapboard in front of the camera which read, "Bonfire, scene 3, take 1," and snapped it. "Action," he said, eye in the camera.

Troy rang the doorbell and I said, "Coming." I glided to the door carrying a cigarette in a long cigarette holder I found in a hallway drawer. Bernard smiled at the cigarette from behind the camera.

I opened the door and said, "Hello. What can I do for you?" I used what I thought was an uppercrust voice, almost a British accent.

"I have a package delivery for Mrs. McCay."

"A package," I said. I took the package wrapped in brown paper and touched his hand. "Would you like to come inside?"


I lead him into the living room and Bernard swung the camera around.

I brought Troy to the couch.

"What's your name?" I asked.


I moved close to him and lightly shoved him onto the couch. Troy was expressionless.

"Do you know what this package is?" I said.

Troy was supposed to say, "No, I don't," but he said, "No, I can't." Bernard waved us to go on.

I opened up the package which was held together with one small piece of tape. Inside there was a twelve inch dildo with thick veins running up the side. Most dildos were pink or black. This dildo was the color of ivory.

If this were real life, Troy would have been scared or curious, but he just put his hand on my leg and began unzipping the back of my black evening gown before I had a chance to say my final line, "Why don't we see if it works." Troy wasn't much of an actor. I didn't think he could have acted curious if he were told to.

The gown came off and I was wearing a red bra and g-string underneath.

Bernard yelled, "Cut. That's fine. Let me get closer to the couch."

The rest of the scene showed that the dildo did in fact work. Troy and I fucked for half an hour. I even used the dildo on him.

Filming went well. It was nice to be the center of attention. Bernard always made sure that I was comfortable. But because I was the star that meant I had to be in nearly every scene. I was making more than twice as much money, which made me think of getting a new apartment and maybe a new car, but by the end I was exhausted. I lay on the zebra-skin couch winded and damp with sweat.

"Fine work guys," Bernard said after the last scene was shot. He was breathing heavily because watching two people fuck up close was almost as strenuous as fucking.


  • At 11:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If I could post a smile, a real one... I would. !

    Mr. M

  • At 3:29 PM, Blogger PumliCZ said…

    heh, nice one... :p

  • At 12:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Heisser sheiz!

  • At 9:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It is driving me nuts not knowing who you are.

  • At 5:14 PM, Blogger Vadergrrrl said…

    I love reading each new post you write. It feels as if Im getting a glimpse of a future novel. This is one of the best written blogs I have seen. Plus the story line is unique and fascinating.


    Its also nice to hear about adult film going back to actual story lines and acting.

    Awesome post.


  • At 10:33 AM, Blogger sinsulita said…


  • At 9:24 AM, Blogger Laust said…

    Yet another great post. YOU ARE THE BEST, DUDE.

  • At 12:04 PM, Blogger omega gal said…

    i love your blog; i feel like i'm reading a novel...thank you for writing & continuing to post; i look forward to your future posts!

  • At 7:40 PM, Blogger alena said…

    Nice Blog!!! It looks like you've spent a fair amount of time setting it up and keeping the content fresh. I'll be sure to come back.

    I have a online dating blog. It pretty much covers online dating related stuff.

    Thanks again and keep up the good work.


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