The Story of a Sex Worker

January 02, 2005


I waited three days before calling Andrew again. It was a hard, slow three days. I started drinking whiskey straight from the pint like my father, something I rarely did. I wasn't a big drinker but all of a sudden I had free time which meant I had time to sleep, pace and let sad thoughts brew. I wasn't scheduled to work for a few days so all I could do was sit around and wait. I didn't have any hobbies. For the last year fucking was my hobby and my job. Meeting men always seemed a kind of hobby to me, as easy as walking into the post office and buying stamps. I didn't want to talk to anyone so I stayed at home and watched a lot of TV and drank the biting whiskey which became smooth halfway into a morning talk show.

I caught a show on strippers and porn stars. The title of the show was, "Sex For A Living: Women Tell Their Stories." I'd never met any of the strippers but I knew two of the porn girls, Karen and Amanda, who I'd come into contact with a couple of times in the last year. They were almost identical--tall, thin and Amazon blond. They both had breast implants to give them hard and firm d-cups. Their tits never seemed to move but showed themselves like glowing trophies under their string bikini tops. Karen had won best actress the year before.

Karen and Amanda were smiling aggressively. The host was condescending and the audience was hard against them. So they overcompensated. Karen said, "I have no inhibitions. I'm not ashamed of anything." She proceeded to lean over and give Amanda a long tongue kiss right on stage. The camera held on them thirty seconds while the audience squealed and shrieked and the host said, "Wow," and smiled.

The audience asked them the standard, "What do your parents think?" and "Don't you think this is degrading to women?" They were questions they'd gotten and answered a thousand times before. "I'm proud of my work," they said. "I make good money. I'm in control. I'm a businesswoman." The audience actually ended up liking them. The audience may have despised them in a way but every one of them was in silent awe because the girls were daring to do something they never would.

I probably could have been on that stage two months ago and been so proud commanding the audience's fearful but fascinated attention. Karen and Amanda would probably double their sales for that appearance. I was happy for them.

I was hoping that Andrew might have the same reaction as the audience, shocked but fascinated. He liked the dark. The last screenplay he wrote was about a killer. Maybe he was even watching the talk show. He might change his opinion. I had a feeling that he wasn't just jealous of me sleeping with other men, he was jealous that I had so much sex so easily. Andrew had had four girlfriends in his life and, unless he was lying, he hadn't slept with too many others.

I was counting on him forgiving me. I had forgotten enough of our last conversation, and remembered enough of the good things, that I got up the courage to call him.

He picked up and I said, "Hey, Andrew," in a tone of apology.

He said, "Go away. Don't call me again," and hung up.

Setting down the phone, I was as sad and as shocked as he must have been. I regretted making the call. But I wasn't surprised he hung up. I guessed my news had to be terrible to a man's ego. To learn that he wasn't the only one on the hill, but he was one of many.

I picked up the phone again and asked Bernard for more work.


  • At 5:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's really good to see you are still around, I was worried. I wish you all the best for this new year, and hope things start to look up for you.


  • At 9:30 PM, Blogger Garrison Steelle said…

    I truly wish there was some way to wave a magic wand and have everyone's brain suddenly open up to the reality of all things pleasurable.

    In the mean time ...

    Here's hoping your new year is full over everything you desire, and none of what you may fear.


  • At 11:55 PM, Blogger darling maggot said…

    hey shirl, is it true that having interracial sex on camera lowers an actress's quote? i heard that on the radio.

  • At 5:01 PM, Blogger darling maggot said…

    hey shirl i hope you don't mind, i went and nominated you for best writing and best new blog for the bloggies. i know you're shy but i think you deserve the nomination.

  • At 6:47 PM, Blogger Solivagus said…

    I agree with darling maggot. You're an excellent writer, which is rare these days. I always find myself getting excited whenever there's a new post. Even if some of the posts are rather...umm...intense, they're always a good read and I enjoy them. Keep up the good work.

  • At 2:45 PM, Blogger Doom/Blondie said…

    How uncanny that every good blog I read has Maggot Man's footprints scattered across it? That unmistakable aroma that he so delicately leaves in his wake.

    (Oh - wait a minute - I found this site from a link on his page...)


    I like your blog.



  • At 11:45 AM, Blogger DanceFan said…

    Hi Shirley,

    Porn stars and strippers on TV? Actually, some of my favorite times in the strip club are seeing porn stars who are also strippers.

    I've been thinking for a long time about writing some posts about porn star feature dancers that I've seen. You've inspired me to do just that.

    By the way, you've probably read that I killed "Strip Club Memories" a couple of months ago, then came back. I recreated the blog as "DanceFan: on Strippers and Life" at http://dancefan.blogspot.com (someone else assumed the SCM name and website last month. I don't recommend it. You may want to kill your link to it - your choice.)


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