The Story of a Sex Worker

January 15, 2005


I wanted deeply to do something to Al Harvey. I wasn't a violent person but I knew when somebody deserved it. It was a scary proposition because Al had friends in high places. He was in a powerful place himself.

I drove to his far-away Malibu home on a Saturday. I took a sharp kitchen knife which fit up the sleeve of my sweatshirt. I wasn't certain if I was going to use it but I wanted to keep away from his bedroom. I didn't call first and hoped he would be home. He wasn't and I felt stupid for having driven forty-five minutes. I almost gave up but the following morning I woke up, drove there again, and he answered the door.

He smiled his scar smile and said, "Come inside."

He was wearing a white tennis shirt tucked into black pants and sandals. His pale skin was whiter than the shirt. The sight of him made my whole body tighten.

I walked into the front entranceway. I didn't want to go too far into his house, closer to the bedroom, so I stayed by the front door.

"Why don't you sit in the living room," he said. "I have to go hang up a phone call."

The living room wasn't far away. I walked into the living room and sat down on the zebra-skin couch which seemed to whisper sounds of sex past.

Al came back into the room with a drink in his hand.

"I'm glad to see you," he said. "What do you want?"

"I came here to ask you the same. What do you want from me?"

"You know I would like to keep being with you."

"That's not what I'm talking about. I'm asking why you had to spread that rumor."

"What rumor?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I really don't."

He gave a look of concern and his scar seemed to shrink. It was strange how that scar seemed to reflect his range of emotion.

"Please don't fuck with me," I said. "You know what I'm talking about. The rumor about me having a disease."

He sighed and looked at me sadly, an emotion I didn't know he had. "I've heard that rumor, Shirl. And I'm sorry about it. I understand why you might think that I spread it but truthfully--if my mother was dead I'd swear on her grave--I didn't spread that rumor. It is a rumor, right?" He looked fearful.

"Yes it is. But everyone believes it and now I'm out of a job. You're not fucking with me, are you?"

"No, I'm not. I didn't spread it. Why would I want to do something like that? I like you, I like your work. I want you to continue working. Besides, you make money for us. A whole lot of money. If it was found out that I did something like that, I'd be up shit."

I looked down at the zebra stripes which blurred together in my confused vision. He had a point. A very strong point. I had to believe him. With great and serious reluctance, I believed him.

"I'm very sorry about this, Shirley," he said.

"You're sorry," I said.

"It's too bad it had to end this way." His voice was full of regret, the voice of a soothing friend.

I left Al's house not knowing who my friends were. When a man like Al Harvey became compassionate and a person like Andrew became evil, you became certain that heaven and hell didn't exist after you died but were right here on earth, switching places daily.

Andrew must have spread the rumor. He was the only other person I knew who had a reason for doing something like that. He had already hit me. Perhaps there was more temper and terror boiling beneath his gentle skin.


  • At 11:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This is getting goddamn boring.

  • At 3:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I don't think this blog is boring.


  • At 7:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Andrew doesn't make sense as suspect #1 - he doesn't travel in the same porn circles as Shirley. Call rewrite...

  • At 9:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Could be Far Out.

  • At 1:03 AM, Blogger Rex Racer said…

    From what you've said about Andrew, I don't think he'd spread rumors about you. My guess is he'd try to forget/wash his hands of you. Which sucks, but his shock probably out-weighed his compassion.

    Have you ever read "Memoirs of a Geisha"? Sure, it's a "novel" but maybe you should flesh this out into a "fake" novel. "Memoirs of an American Geisha"...no, that's too Heidi Fleiss...maybe "Memoirs of a DVD Geisha" no...maybe, "The Other Side of the Valley".

    Keep writing, CC...um...SS. Compelling reading.

  • At 4:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ...but how would Andrew go about circulating such a rumor?

  • At 3:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Andrew's not evil, but Shirley might be nuts. The crossover between mainstream and porn society is nil (unless you make a long-term, concerted effort to create a connection) and for a rumor to work, you have to have some initial relationship between spreader and spreadee. C'mon, Shirl; you can do better than that.

  • At 4:34 PM, Anonymous TheRottenLady said…

    Geez. You people are fucking brutal. Why read this blog if you're going to be so harsh? And, so what if it's true, or it isn't? Stop reading it then.

    I mean, really. I read everything on the web with a grain of salt. Okay. Sometimes I sympathize / empathize and feel badly for the writer....(and hope that what I'm reading is true). But, if it isn't, at least it's provoked some sort of emotion in me - And that's enough.

    So, Shirley, if you're reading this...I don't know if this is "real" or not. If it is, you've got one hell of a life - - and it deserves to be written. If not (if it isn't true), then, you've got one hell of an imagination - - and it should still be written.

    I love how people like to hide behind anonymous internet personas (like myself) and bash others....Like road rage. But, really, People. You've got to remember? The writer? Oh, yeah. He / she HAS a certain vulnerability when posting their (fictionalized or otherwise) life on the web. So, really, enough with the Meanies already.

  • At 6:10 AM, Blogger 8709 said…

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    If you got time , go visit my site, it´s about mens male enhancement reviews. It pretty much covers mens male enhancement reviews and other similar topics available.

  • At 2:29 AM, Anonymous Aorchid said…

    Nice blog, from reading this post, I like it, keep it up :-)


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